Throughout life, the good person desires to surround themselves with people that will call them on to be even better people. They need help in relationships, at work, raising kids, dealing with the stresses of life, etc. We, as humans, and more so as adults, are constantly looking for correction and to be told how to act.
I guess that growing up being told what to do, it breeds in us a crutch to have the same thing moving forward. We are told when to study, when to brush our teeth, how to dress, how to act, and the list goes on and on. We, from a young age, are told how to live.
Thus, it's only natural that when life comes knocking we begin to look around for the orders. We turn to our friends, our families, our spiritual directors, our teachers, and so on to be told what to do, and their simple response, "figure it out."
You see, we seem to enjoy being told how to act and what to do. It's easy, everybody likes easy. But to quote a brother "the hard is what makes it great."
So often in my life I find myself looking around for that order (funny enough I'm considering serving our country in the Army, at least today...) and yet we forget to think for ourselves. We forget that somehow we've weathered some tough times alone.
My brotherhood is awesome, I have an army of men willing to call me out whenever they see fit. But you see, what good is that if I cannot call myself out? There is a good rule of thumb leaders must remember, "do not ask your men to do something that you yourself are not willing to do."
Maybe we can learn from this. Maybe it's time that we stop letting other people tell us our faults. Maybe it's time people come to terms with their problems, and instead of shying away from them, they stare them down and face them.
Or, we can continue to lie to ourselves. We can see the issues in our lives and tell ourselves that they are not big of a problem. We can let our friends and families tell us our faults, we'll listen and agree, but when it comes time to ante, we won't, because we won't call ourselves out to do so.
I think of going to Confession, and the extreme amounts of actual grace that that sacrament requires for us to participate in. From the moment we enter into that mortal sin, God is throwing that grace at us harder that Roger Federer's serve. But you see, it's not until we decide to be penetrated by it does it kick in.
When Charlie Sheen went on his rants earlier this year, he said that he conquered his addictions by simply changing his mind. And we all laughed. But there is truth there. You can't be helped unless you want to be helped. And you can't be called out unless you call yourself out. Question is, do you have what it takes? Will you be real with yourself, or just skate through life hoping to get by with the occasional pep talk from friends?
You need people to help you through life, and more importantly, you need grace and you need the Source from which that grace comes. But you must first be willing to accept it, to change, to open yourself up to it, to truly know yourself and recognize yourself. A painful look it is, but the beauty of pain is it means you're still alive, it's when you no longer feel pain that you find yourself six feet under in a wooden box.
"Do you love Me? Do you love Me? Do you love Me?" - Christ
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