Humble Pride

I never really intended to write this often, but I guess in these early stages I have a lot to say. Don't blame me for writing it, you're the one reading it...

During this Lenten season, Catholics all around the world take an introspective look at themselves and try to find manners in which they can change, to live out their calling of holiness better. That's awesome, it's needed, and it shows a person willing to admit they are not perfect and want nothing more than to continue to strive to live for the greater glory of God.

However, I cannot help but notice that sometimes I think good Catholics take it a little too far, this desire to change. They try to lower themselves, in humility, to something subhuman. We hear often during this season of Lent about sin, about how it destroys our relationship with God, and it does. But I think sometimes we give it more power than what it actually has. In trying to bring our sin into the light, we sulk with it in the dark. You'll often hear people say, "Oh, I'm this horrible sinner, I wish I could just live holiness, but this freaking sin is killing me."

Fr. Drew, my pastor, puts it eloquently when he says that Catholics are better celebrators than we are mourners. Lent, our season of repentance, is 40 days long; Easter, the season of great rejoicing is 50 days long. Our Church Fathers, and more importantly, God Himself, call us to rejoice. So often we journey through Lent with this improper self-image of lowliness and sinfulness, we think so much of the horribleness of the Crucifixion of Christ, that we fail to put it in the proper context of the Resurrection. Death, for Lenten Catholics, stifles the light of Easter.

A very wise household brother once told me, "they are called gifts for a reason, embrace them." Admit it now, you will sin until God grants you the grace of death, and there is nothing you can do about it. Go to Reconciliation when you do, receive that help and grace, and forget about it. God has short term memory when it comes to sin, why don't we? Instead of wallowing in self-pity and this false humility of the lowly sinner, claim the gift of the Resurrection. Stop thinking, "I'm a horrible sinner; all God asks of me is love and all I do is turn away from Him." Start thinking, "If I strive to live holiness, and with the grace of God, I'll reach heaven."

There is nothing wrong with pride. There is nothing wrong with saying, "I will reach heaven. With the grace of God, overcoming this sin and living in the light can be done." You see, when we start to see how we are living out holiness in our lives, light starts to flood the soul. Those dark corners are illuminated by the light of holiness. And as the light overcomes the darkness, we see why it was dark there and how to overcome it. In order to know what darkness is, you must first know light. In order to first know what sin is, you must first know holiness. Embrace your holiness, live in that light, not the self-pity of sin, that just gives it more power than what it's due.

We are about to enter into the great Easter Triduum. Catholics will receive the Eucharist and learn our call of service on Holy Thursday, we will see our Lord die for us on Good Friday, and we will rejoice in His Resurrection and our new brethren on Resurrection Saturday evening/Sunday morning. Understand what sin does to you and the necessity of Christ's Cross, but don't wallow in it. Receive the gift of Holy Thursday, be thankful for the sacrifice of Good Friday, and rejoice in the Resurrection of Sunday. To quote a DC Talk song, "I wanna be in the light, as You are in the light. I wanna shine like the stars in the heavens." And if you find yourself wallowing in the Cross remember, that the Church does not weep in the Cross, we exalt it.